"claustrofobia is about the refusal to forget the violence perpetrated on my ancestors for my skin to reach its lightness. It’s about reminding myself and others that white colonisers failed in their calculated attempt to erase entire races of people, while the world at large encourages us to forget. re-telling our histories and stories is an act of defiance.
though the narrative comes from my particular point of view as someone who is Afro-Brasileira and Latina-Indígena, it resonates with folks from various diasporas as colonisation took place world-wide. I wrote ‘What Luck’ because I’d encountered so many BIPoC who, like myself, struggled with an overwhelming sense of displacement, because of the way they looked, or because they felt they couldn’t reconnect to the culture that had been stolen from them. there’s strength in representation and relatability."
Content warning: mild nudity, mentions of self-harm, explicit descriptions of violence and of sexual violence.
para a nossa tia Mariana
matriarca da família
who once told me
Deus e o Diabo
were constantly at war
that I tell our stories
this would finally
set her free
to the viewer of Colour:
this poeta hopes
you will turn the following
silent film into song
by sounding or signing the words aloud
with your own voice
"clautrosfobia is an experimental short film set in our share-house bathroom during the COVID-19 lockdown. the video depicts my daily post-shower routine.
this is accompanied by a written poem about the way my appearance fails to represent my ancestry due to the violence of colonisation, and the consequential toll it takes on my mental health.
the film is very much ‘for us by us’—it’s made for fellow survivors of enforced miscegenation, dealing with the trauma and confusion of having to negotiate existing in bodies that are reminders of the horrors our ancestors endured, with very real privilege of being light-skinned."
Presented as part of MAV’s Ahead of the Curve program.
Supported by The Victorian Department of Families, Fairness and Housing.
Ana Maria Gomides is an Afro-Brasileira, Latina-Indígena storyteller existing on Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung country. operating across a multitude of genres and mediums, her work is both reflective and reflexive of her experiences of race, migration, queerness, mental and chronic illnesses, neurodiversity, and the various ways in which they intersect.