"what it's like to be left is a short film about what it's like to lose someone you love during the pandemic. Losing loved ones is always hard - and it's weirder when you're attending funerals over Zoom or when people end relationships for no clear reason and you're stuck within the same walls during a 5km lockdown. I was ashamed of how I felt-- mourning a private loss while the world as we know it is ending, while other people are enduring harder oppressions, can feel indulgent. But all griefs need to be faced before they can be survived. Making this film was my way of honouring and exploring intense feelings that were killing me, that I felt were inappropriate to share even with people closest to me.
I've done heaps of TikTok videos, YouTube videos, Instagram stories and lives - but this is my first proper short film. I shot this film on my smartphone. Aside from the North Melbourne train shots, all the clips were filmed within my 5km radius. I composed the soundtrack in Ableton, and recorded sounds from around my neighbourhood. I aimed for a cinematic art-film aesthetic using lo-fi methods. I did the jobs that most film productions hire large teams to do.
I've never attended art school or film school. Aside from the MAV filmmaking and sound workshops, and a couple of Ableton workshops I attended outside the Ahead of the Curve program, I taught myself everything through trial and error. I'm grateful to MAV for the opportunity to experiment and try new things with my creative practice."
Content warnings: Nudity, adult content, 18+.
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Angelita Biscotti - Director, Cinematographer, Editor, Producer, Sound Designer, Composer, Writer, Actor
Dee Cat - Technical Counsel, Actor
"what it's like to be left is about mourning the loss of someone you love during the pandemic. It's about the early days of loss, when getting over heartbreak feels impossible.
I'm honoured and grateful to MAV for supporting my first short film. Doing this helped me work through my own pain, learn new skills in such a short time, and get to know my own voice as a baby filmmaker."
Presented as part of MAV’s Ahead of the Curve program.
Supported by The Victorian Department of Families, Fairness and Housing.
Writer, Performer, Editor and Filmmaker
Angelita Biscotti is a writer, performer, editor, and filmmaker excited by experimental, non-linear investigations into eroticism, queer embodiment, wellness and social justice. Her interviews, essays, reviews, fiction, and poetry have appeared in respected global and Australian publications, including Jacobin, Overland, Cordite Poetry Review, and elsewhere. She has studied at the Ateneo de Manila University, Brooklyn Institute for Social Research, and La Trobe University. She was a 2017 Hot Desk Fellow at the Wheeler Centre, a 2021 Making Space resident at Siteworks, a 2020 Fellow at Democracy in Colour and coHealth’s Create Change Fellowship for young BIPOC campaigners, and a 2020 mentee for the Progressive Tech Network. She is a Melburnian of Filipinx-Spanish descent, based on unceded Boon Wurrung Country. Pronouns: She/they